Do you ever wish you could just live in a dream? Three people in our church have passed on, and I'm really struggling, I wish I could escape the world, and yet I know that I am here for a reason. I am not suicidal, but I can't help but find myself crying and scrolling on Pinterest trying to hide how much I am not okay. I'm trying to learn how to grieve like Jesus, but my autopilot for dealing with things was either to not allow myself to feel anything and mask, or to let sadness and depression take me over, and it is really hard not to fall into my old way of life. I have separation anxiety again, and I don't feel like I have any friends to talk to outside my family... I would never want to bother them either. Thankyou so much!!!!
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Hey Lily! Yes, I can totally pray for you.
I can relate to how you feel in hard times. It's good to reach out to people you trust, even someone online - although, be careful about sharing specific information - about what's going on. God gave us friends to talk to, but above all, He wants to hear our sorrows and troubles.
Sometimes it helps for me to just talk to God out loud, like He's a friend right beside me. It sounds cliche, and sometimes it doesn't even feel like it does much, but it can really lift a weight off of your chest. Just talking about it to someone will help in itself. God's always listening, and He will help you.
Matthew 5:4 says,
"Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted."
Psalm 34:18-19 says,
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person will have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all."
So, know that God is with you. He loves you and He sees that you're hurting. When Jesus was grieving, He called out to God. Even on the cross Jesus cries, "My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46, Matthew 27:28-54 for context)
God sees you, Lily, and He knows your pain. Know that those individuals whom you love are now at rest with the Father in heaven, and that He has called them home. It's really hard when God allows for people we love to be taken away from us. Sometimes it even feels wrong. But know that God has a plan and a purpose for everyone's life, and that some people have done their work here on earth. God has a plan for you too. In everything He is preparing you for tomorrow. I can agree that it's not easy and I've felt like you have recently, but remember that God does have the very best for us in store. We may not be able to see it yet, but we just have to believe Him for it. ❤️
I pray that God will help you to heal, and will give you peace and all the hugs that you need in this time. I pray that God will fill your heart and those around you with love. May a peace that surpasses all understanding guard your heart and your mind. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
I care for you Lily, and I will continue to pray for you to find comfort and peace in the Lord.
And know that I will always be here if you need to talk. It will never be a bother to me. Feel free to DM me. 💕
P.S. Also, if you can, try talking to someone in your church group about it. You might be surprised that they are going through the exact same thing and feel the exact same way that you do.